Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Hanging On

Sometimes that's all you can do. Hang on. Sometimes you can't. Then begins the long slide down that dark tunnel. Well, I'm working. I get up tired and I go to bed tired. It seems that even as I learn to perform my job with greater speed and skill, I still fall behind.

In fact, my wife is now helping me part of the time, just so I can survive. That's the name of the depression game. Survival. I want to do well and I want to keep my new job. It just seems that it is SO hard. If my boss were not a Christian, I would never make it. He's kind, understanding and patient. He really wants me to succeed. He's the kind of boss everyone would like to have. But I'm sure that even he has his limits. I know that I wouldn't have the flexibility to do what I do and how I do it under any other circumstances.

I feel a little bit guilty (not too much) that I've been unable to keep up with my blog and my personal emails. I'm just unable to do much right now. I will try to keep you posted.

For you "outsiders," this is my world.

Keep the faith.


broke said...

Hi there (from a fellow depressive...)

Your blog was mentioned in the Wall Street Journal yesterday (29/01) (as was mine!). Somone emailed me the text - about your blog it reads:

• Ten Minute Freefall

"Some people live in a 'black hole.' It's called depression. After 42+ years of wrestling with this demon, I think I might have an insight or two to share," writes the author of the Ten Minute Freefall blog. The author is a "mostly retired" minister from Harrison, Ark., who includes many sermon-like anecdotes in his posts. But rather than sounding preachy, entries are written with lots of humor and candor. Posts include discussions of his initial skepticism and then conviction that support groups can be extremely helpful for coping with depression, as well as useful information on its treatments, and discussions on topics such as the differences between circumstantial or situational depression and clinical depression.

I wish you well, and will check back to read more of your writing,
Take care

Stormy Joe Ward said...

"Broke," thank you so much for passing on that information. I always wonder if I'm actually helping anyone, and your kindness is greatly appreciated. I'm looking forward to reading your blog. May God's wishes be fulfilled in your life.

Your friend,